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In this configuration, Mr. Zemoor retains control of the exchange. In addition to the anger (which will almost certainly increase with such indifference), Madame will have to explain to her the precise reasons for her indignation.
Also, any attempt of bluff she could have considered is neutralized. This behavior is radically different from that of Mr. Zemoor who caused the dispute. In pronouncing the words: “what did I do? He is already in a position of defense, and therefore, in the light of his accuser, in the position of presumed guilty.
Exactly as the accused in a criminal case who would answer a series of questions, in the context of a police custody, “but I did not do anything”.
A clever liar will say rather, “I do not understand anything about this matter. It will be necessary to explain to me, because, there, sorry, but I have nothing to say to you “.
It does not exist (except in a situation of war) interrogation conditions harder than those of a police custody. That’s why I take this example. We are far from the peaceful experiences of manipulation carried out in the comfort of a faculty of psychology, in front of a lukewarm tea, surrounded by charming students.
No, it’s different. Without wishing too much to grumble about the harshness of these deplorable conditions, like this French writer, arrested while he snugly fished a rail of cocaine on the hood of a car, and who made us of his twenty-four hours of detention a whimpering complaint, I must admit, indeed, that it is a delicate phase.
The authorities will play with the sleep of the mis en cause, with his freedom to come and go (by confining him in a humid cell), with his dignity (by digging), with his ignorance (because he does not has no access to the file), with its physical integrity (by handcuffing it), and with its social surface, preventing it from having external contacts.
I’ve seen it every day for years, as an observer and speaker, but I was also fortunate, like the unlucky addict mentioned above, to make a little detour there. This allowed me to add the personal feeling to a cold external analysis.
Considering since childhood that only death or a tetraplegia are disasters, once the surprise passed, I had at times taken the thing philosophically, deciding to enrich myself with every detail. Going to this pitiful evidence, it was my only possible distraction.
Enclosed in this humid cell, with the only furniture of charming Turkish toilets tinged with a warm brown color during this twenty hours, I managed over time to remember the principle n ° 9 posed by the initiators of neurolinguistic programming (NLP): All behavior is geared towards adaptation.
The conditions of this experiment were optimal because, for a reason that I will not develop further here, when I opened my eyes, discovering myself in this cozy cocoon, I no longer remembered the reason for my presence.
So I tried to adapt to each of the stimuli that presented to me, considering me as a test subject.
One of them marked me. Handcuffing.
Ignoring the fact that the conjuring practice associated with slender wrists and, above all, with an imprudent policeman who had not tightened enough the object would have allowed me to free myself in forty-five seconds, I decided to play the game (incidentally, I had instant no objective reason and without attempting an escape to the Houdirii).
Handcuffed, one is diminished, it is an axiom. But we must not focus our attention on this decrease. In fact, if you are handcuffed, it is because you represent, at the moment, a form of danger. A danger that public order must manage, manipulate, and mitigate by a physical impediment.
Recognizing this, I remember feeling, not fear or anger, but a beneficial benefit, because I was not put in a situation in which I had to coerce the other, at the cost of a mental or bodily effort. No, it’s the other one that had to constrain me, and that at the cost of the expensive device (men, equipment, premises) implemented around me.
Nikon D5000 Tips And Tricks
Here lies a part of my demonstration.
In a balance of power, whatever it is, when someone else wants to confuse you, coerce you, or control you, it means that you are in his eyes a disruptive element to manage, like this adulterous husband, in the couple of Mrs. Zemoor.
The power that this only status of “problem” gives you in the minds of others must never be underestimated.
The whole illusionism is based on a disruptive element that will produce the effect. Similarly, the reversal of an intelligence agent is achieved through a sudden destabilization of the target, dazzling for the latter but from a long preparation, the result of which is: the shoe as a docile pony. The uncontrolled confession will emerge from a masterpiece shot by a patient investigator, at the right time. Of even a story, a narration of some kind becomes tasteless without a dose of twists.
Do not get caught in the game of surprise. By considering yourself as a problematic data for the other, you take a distance that allows a better analytical vision.
Many (culpable) amateurs will be tempted at first to deny by reflexes the facts that are reproached to them, without being able to take cognizance of the damning file established against them, to then return miserably on this categorical negation once the cards are shot down. by the interrogator. A major mistake, because it creates an avowed lie, the original negation, which we come back to later, once confronted with the obvious. Also, months after his custody, when the defendant will appear, he will be heard by the court in charge of his fate.
“Finally, sir, from the very beginning of your interrogation by the police services, you lied … and today you want us to believe you? ”
“The first thing I do is see how I hold it, what I have against him if I have a biscuit,” say most police officers.
Therefore, an immediate negation without taking care of the ignorance of the elements possessed by your target has a deplorable perverse effect.
I would like to point out that the weapon of silence is of course not a final instrument. It must always be considered as a transitional means, that which makes it possible to make the link between the content of the elements to counteract by the reasoning and the methods to reach it. It makes possible the necessary retreat must take the spirit to develop a defense strategy.
This short phase of hindsight can be taken advantage of to capture information on the body language of his interlocutor, to draw as much information as possible about his knowledge. Obviously, this phase loses efficiency if you are caught in the behavior that should be concealed.
Feedback and good management of silence must be accompanied by the third instrument, the most efficient: gestures, body language, body language.
Remember that in human communication, 80% of the message is non-verbal.
The grace of the man who lies
Obviously, the first rule in lying well handled is confidence in itself. Absolute. It’s sad to say, but overestimating oneself in coldness is sometimes helpful. A former mentor with whom I spoke for the writing of this book, a professional lie, had these words that may seem hard but are nevertheless relevant in terms of efficiency. According to him, a genuine manipulator must not be accessible to the emotional.
– The other is an already captive game. Always.
– How’s that always? You mean that you underestimate it in principle?
– No, just that it must be considered a captive game. It’s the only way to get out of your own human empathy, not to let your own emotions express themselves in your relationship to others. Never forget that the main objective of a mental manipulator (commercial, intelligence agent, mentalist …) is the other, okay, but as I want it.
As an example, I will repeat Lenin’s memorandum to Foreign Affairs Commissioner Chicherin in 1921, which deserves to be reproduced in extenso to illustrate this point. Especially when one knows the subsequent consequences that these instructions entailed: Nikon D5000 Tips And Tricks
The educated circles of Western Europe and America are incapable of understanding either the present situation of things or the actual ratio of forces. These circles should be considered deaf-mutes. The revolution never develops in a straight line or uninterrupted growth, it is a series of accelerations and stunts, attacks and lulls.
It is necessary to announce the fictitious separation of our government and the governmental organs, and especially of the Comintern. The deaf-mutes will believe that.
Express our wish to establish diplomatic relations with the capitalist countries. The deaf-mutes will believe that.
To say the truth is a bourgeois and petty prejudice while a lie is often justified by objectives.
Capitalists around the world and their governments will turn a blind eye to the kinds of activities I’ve talked about and will become increasingly blind and deaf-mute.
They will provide us with the equipment and technology we are missing. We will return against our suppliers. In other words, they are working to prepare their own suicide.
To speak of confidence in itself, as far as Lenin is concerned, would be almost a euphemism, reading the text above. This does not mean that Lenin underestimated those he called deaf-mutes. On the contrary. He only gave these kinds of instructions because of the many pieces of information he had about his opponents. From the time his services had spent working on it.
The deaf-mutes believed it, and it was a perfect model of misinformation. Confidence in itself cannot be felt properly if the classic human emotions, such as the tractor the embarrassment, take possession of your carnal envelope. Also, it will be necessary to defuse them. The attenuation of these sensations can be obtained by a good management of the breathing: a deep expiration will allow resynchronizing to obtain a greater relaxation in the speech. Good oxygenation makes it possible to limit the emotional demonstration.
The usual breath renews one-tenth of the lung capacity. Full breathing from the belly to the chest and collarbone allows almost eight-tenths of this capacity to be renewed. Obviously, this exercise should not be visible to your interlocutor.
A situation of counter-argumentation by lying must not be perceived as a fight. Neutralizing is not fighting. Two warships avoid ffontment. It is important to keep calm.
When we were in Vietnam, there were two kinds of pilots. Those who, when their device went into a spin, began to lose their feet and panic. Almost they announced to the crew: we are screwed.
And those who let themselves be carried away by the spin, calmly, because the energy deployed by this phenomenon sometimes allows them at one time or another to straighten the device. They let themselves go “spinning”, calmly. Between us, it was called glide control, control of the loss of control of the device.
Efficient eye management can go a long way toward helping you when I look at a child in the eye, its innocence guides me. That’s what persuasion is. If 80% of the message transmitted by the human being is in the non-verbal, a large part of this proportion is established by the single glance.
Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), invented by John Grinder and Richard Bandler in the 1970s, is a set of communication models and techniques designed to improve relationships between individuals and contribute to personal development. Inspired by the work of many psychotherapists, its creators have given pride of place to any form of communication. According to the NLP, in many areas of life, today communication is also a relationship to be successful.
This relationship can not be established without a successful emotional transmission. And the most direct way, besides the touch, remains the look.
Someone who will say “delighted” when it is presented to you, but who will fix someone else, a waiter who at the time of taking your order will keep his eyes fixed on the restaurant bar, a teacher who would teach looking out of the window, all these examples illustrate a missed communication only because of a poor calibration of the gaze.
The eyes must, therefore, be as little as possible to the interlocutor. The more emotional may have difficulty supporting the accusing look of an individual suspecting them of a lie.
In this, In this case, they may slightly shift their eyes in order to fix not those of their interlocutor, but the base of his forehead, the birth of the bridge of his nose. The illusion will work, and the opponent will think that you look him in the eyes. In fact, you look at it between your eyes.